You Might Be a Redneck.....

Well I am sitting here wonderin what to blog. Then I think to myself, "Well why don't I blog about dem Rednecks that live heres in Texas." So here are a bunch of Redneck jokes. Oh and not everybody in Utah is a Redneck it is just a stereotype.... (To a certain extent) :)

You might be a Redneck if....

-your front porch collapses and four dogs get killed.
-that billboard that says, “Say No To Crack” reminds you to pull up your jeans.
-your wife’s hairdo was ever ruined by a ceiling fan.
-you go to your family reunions looking for a date.
-your Junior/Senior Prom had a Daycare.
-you’ve got more than three cousins named “Bubba”.
-you have an Elvis Jell-O mold.
-taking your wife on a cruise means circling the Dairy Queen.
-on Thanksgiving Day you have to decide which pet to eat.
-your idea of high-quality entertainment is a six-pack and a bug-zapper.
-you’ve ever taken reading material into an airplane restroom.
-you vacuum the sheets instead of washing them
-you’ve ever had to siphon gas from your lawn mower to put into your truck.
-you break wind in public and blame it on your kid.
-you have a bumper sticker that says, “My mother’s an honor student” at the local junior high.
-you can’t visit relatives without getting mud on your tires.
-your mother doesn’t put shoes on to go grocery shopping.
-you’ve ever been to a wedding reception at the Waffle House.
-your kids’ favorite bedtime story is “Curious George and the High Voltage Fence.”
-you’ve ever had to turn your pickup truck around because of bridge clearance restrictions.
-there’s graffiti on the bathroom wall in your own house.
-you clean your house with a water hose.
-you have more electronic equipment in your truck than in your house.
-your best sofa came out of a Chevrolet.
-your favorite T-shirt is declared offensive in at least 13 states.
-you’ve ever stolen toilet paper.
-you think the police can’t see you because your truck is painted camouflage.
-when you leave your house, you are followed by federal agents of the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms, and the only thing you worry about is how to lose them.
-the UFO hotline limits you to one call per day.
-you prefer car keys to Q-tips.

Oh boy they are funny but not everybody here is a redneck lol. I miss you guys a ton. Keep talking to me. :)